Crude Grain, Pure Grain

This post might probably sound like a random philosophical soliloquy.

It might be.

It might not.


I think when such a thing like this again occurs so suddenly out of the blue and in close proximity to myself; the realisation of my material existence hits extremely hard.

Most of the time, i get so completely consumed in all that is illusory so much so that it can take only the rawness of reality to remind me that im still ultimately standing on coarse soil.

When it was broken to me, the first thought that speared into my mind was not of 'What's gonna happen to us now'. The rainbow bubble burst. And with it erupted a thunderous clap that echoed of sharp reality. It once again proclaimed its existence and wielded its superiority to me, ensuring that i was fully aware of its almighty yet tangible presence. By that point in time the lofty indulgences had long vaporised. The back of my mind was monopolised by the contemplation of 'What if it struck me?'. The feeling was almost authentic, as if i had been conducted by it. It brought to the surface and made me acknowledge my one real failure and my utter cowardice. For as long as i remember; egocentricity has generated multiple deliberations and reservations that have been amassing into an expanding regret...

It seems that incidents like these are effects of a timer - one that appropriately sets off a significant reminder at a certain juncture in my wordly existence.

Is my greatest adversary in fact my greatest patron?