Ada apa denganku?!

OK. One down, one more to go.

I dont know how i'll fare in today's exam. I was hoping the paper would consist mostly of fill-in-the-blanks kind of questions but of course, thats just wishful thinking on my part. It's not the mid-sem so its obvious that this time round it would definitely be slightly more challenging. And of course it was.

After finishing the exam today i was actually wondering what the hell i was doing studying my entire textbook all this while. 75% of the paper was all compo style so i didnt have to re-learn all those vocab, especially from the first-half of the book! But then again, i guess its somewhat useful knowledge as well la.

I was practically rambling throughout the second-half of the paper. Kadang-kadang saya sangat tak bisa tahan when we have to write such random compos. Being someone who greatly lacks in imagination, it irks me when it comes to writing such things because i have to spend more time than others thanks to my extra-long thinking duration! And this becomes costly because i dont have enough time at the end to check my entire paper! GRR. But i guess on second thoughts, its prolly not that bad as well cos answering such open-ended questions is almost similar to writing a blog entry; except that it sounds quite jarring because of my amateur Bahasa. Yet, based on what i wrote for my mid-sem, these technicalities dont really seem to affect my tutor much because she appears to be more concerned about what and how much i write. HMM. Although i seriously feel that what i wrote today was really pure crap, hopefully its entertaining enough for my guru to read!

O well...i cant afford to slack yet cos tomorrow's oral is definitely going to be more intimidating! YIKES.

心領

Ok, im still going on about our corp doco. I just found out that Marilyn, my dearest director, actually cried during last fri's screening! OMG! I thought we (both of us in particular) would be so damn sick of watching our own doco that we couldnt get any more immune to it already. I guess im the only one eh! But haha, it makes me glad to know that our doco is such a "choker" (i quote John Beaton). Even when i was back in the matrox suite that afternoon to burn us the dvds, Lyn, one of the editors from mon's class came over and said to me how much she loved our doco and it almost made her cry too. I didnt really believe her then until later on when i was told by Cindy and Marilyn that they did really hear people at the back whispering how sad our doco was as they were watching it. HMM.

O well, it's good to hear that our project managed to touch people's hearts. I think this production has cemented my belief that film/video does indeed have a distinctive ability to trigger emotional connections - which is why ive chosen to pursue this course of study! I want to debunk the myth that film/television makes audiences passive!!! The satisfaction and fulfilment that the medium has given me urged me 3 years ago to contribute something back and work towards sharing this fulfilment with others. I know it seems like a very lofty ambition and i have to admit; all the projects i did the past few years indeed made me doubt myself and my belief. But im glad that God has been giving the strength and showing me the way all this time. By leading me towards this project, He has enabled me to see the light at the end of the tunnel! I have to say, i certainly do feel restored after working on this production knowing how much it has impacted others as well as myself!

Of course, i also feel especially blessed with my wonderful group. Through this project, we have become more than just mere groupmates and im extremely glad that ive been led to working and bonding with these amazing people. I cant express enough my immense gratitude particularly to my favorite director "Ma lau" Lyn for all the time, effort and support she has given me; putting up with all my complaints and whinings, sitting beside me in the edit suite always without any complaints despite it being a waste of her own time. And to Cindy as well, our lovely gal who always generously offers to drive us home after late evening/night editing or even just taking the initiative to pop by every now and then to see how Ma Lau Lyn and i are surviving in the matrox. Plus, I would never forget the crazy Tong Sum discussion sessions the 3 of us always share! From debating over who we prefer Seung Joi Sum to end up with - Alfred or Duk Duk Dei - to bitching about the evil Sai Kai...and of course, the ending! Haha! I'll always remember how Cindy and i are forced not to talk about the ending in front of Marilyn cos she wouldnt allow us to spoil it for her...Ahh...what memorable times 334 has brought us!

Fin (well, almost...)

Finally after 15 weeks of hard work emerges this product that i feel the biggest sense of accomplishment for. The feedback at Fri's screening was great - from staff, fellow students and our client alike - and beyond our expectations! Sure there were some minor critiques here and there but these always allow room for more improvements! All in all, this is undoubtedly THE production that i find the most satisfactory out of all my FTV projects by far. Of course, this is certainly possible only because of the immense experience and knowledge gained over time that has helped me continually learn and improve. So yes, im glad that ive finally been able to achieve this sense of fulfilment that ive been challenging myself to attain throughout these 3 years. Praise the Lord! I can now graduate with pride!

So then...

From Brilliance to Genius

I know its gonna sound very shameless of me to say this but we (marilyn & i) have confidence that we're definitely gonna get a HIGH D for our corp doco! WAHAHA. pretty good quality work i must say! although the standard of our footage cant be compared to that of ET or juita's groups; we have something crucial that they dont - HEART! and yes, that's what's gonna get us the grade! i almost wanted to burst into tears when i saw our video. our story's so heart-wrenching yet heart-warming..AWWW...

终

Finally completed my last 2 essays. I guess that's a conclusion to this sem. And also a conclusion to my 15 years of academic life.

It's been a struggle writing these 2 essays, particularly the 4000-word one. It's a research paper on narrative complexity in american dramas; yet it's odd how out of all the examples cited, i've never actually watched a single one of them. Nonetheless, it's prolly a good experience to remember cos i'll never get to do such a paper like that again. Not that i'd ever want to, but then again, who knows? You'll always end up missing things that you dont treasure as much now.

On a more emotional note, yesterday's 溏心 episode really got me bawling my eyes out at the end...

Of Brilliance and More

Why does time always pass in a blink of an eye when one is having so much fun?

From the Polaroid

The unprofessional model i am


Kelas Indon saya

1 more month.

4 more weeks.

26 more days.

Keep counting,

keep counting.

FTV 334 Shoot

Day 1 @ Interviewee's lovely house (in the hills)

Day 2 @ Centenery House eating Krispy Kreme (from Syd, thanks to Stella!)

Day 2 @ Centenery House (Tsk, the things we do on shoots...!)

At Last

Finally. Completed. Internship report.

7 chapters.

45 pages.

15,600 words.

Countless days.

Sunday, May 6, 4.30am.

DONE.

Aduh!

It feels odd and somewhat contradictory to be studying Indonesian while listening to cantopop. Hmm. I wonder if it's right to be multi-tasking in this sense. Anyway...

Saya ada tes Bahasa Indonesia pada Hari Kamis dan Jumat!

Fri's one is like an oral test la. It's been what, 6 years since i had an oral and i thought that would have already been the last of it. Well apparently not. So surprise surprise, here it is, back to haunt me again!

Mati la.

P.S. Saya sedikit lapar sekarang, mau makan Hor Fun dan Tau Huay!!!


"Yok jeh yat cuk diu dang king seh ha loi, wak jeh ngor yi but wui qun zoi..."

1) I've got insomnia. Or maybe not. Its prolly cos my body clock hasnt re-adjusted itself back from holiday mode to school mode. Sigh.

2) I can feel my myopia worsening. Yet, im still not doing anything to prevent it. Bad. Very bad.

3) I had one of the most absurd dreams last night. Not one of those that come under my Deja Vu category. This one literally made me sit up in bed knitting my brows and go 'HUH!' when i woke up cos it was just so unbelievable yet realistic.

4) Editing AGAIN tomorrow. I think this assignment breaks my record for the longest time spent on editing for such a 2 min video. Perhaps we should rename it 'The TRUE Never-ending Story'.

Leigh just called me after realising from my sms reply that our Indo test is next week (week 9) and not this week. Poor girl, she spent all this time studying just her Indo despite having other mid-sems this week; only to hear such a 'What The?!' news. She just topped herself again as the ultimate Blur Queen i know. And at only 18!

Time and tide waits for no Man. But is Man even bothered?

Yes, yes, yes. I am procrastinating AGAIN. I know full well that i've got work awaiting me yet im deliberately shutting that thought out of my mind. I think this act of escapism - if i may term it as such - is extremely unhealthy. But what do i do? Continue to indulge in it of course! Sloth is a horrendous sin, i know. Even spiritual intervention cant help me because im not even helping myself.

I think one of my strengths is also my biggest flaw - that is i can do something without stopping (sometimes even going without food and/or sleep); BUT, when i do stop, it is a huge difficulty to get started again. Which, once again, is the case right now. I've been working on my project proposal for a few days, and now that that has been completed (yesterday), im locked in inertia mode, unable to move on to my next assignment. So then, im stationed in the midst of no-man's-land, submerged only in time and tide.

Is it because the tedious journeying of every voyage has burnt out the fuel of motivation in me? Is it because the propellers of dynamism have been mentally and psychologically worn out? Or are these just mere fashionable excuses consciously concocted to camouflage and evade the vicious fact that im basically an indolent bum?

This extremity is such an abhorrent disease and one that i know only i have the ability to cure. Yet, the irony lies in how the cure IS the disease. If there is no stimulus to jumpstart the engine, how can i get to the dock?

334 mini-drama shoot (2 April)

Credits to Stella!

Woah. So damn full. Had Nando's for lunch this afternoon and now another a filling meal of roast that Lily brought back from the hotel. I feel so blessed. She's always bringing back so much food for me and i feel sooo bad. Yes, and so i've been having really good meals these days, can't remember the last time i cooked. I think it's when i made the herbal chicken soup - and that was last week. Perhaps i should make some more one of these days - it'll be nice to have soup in this pre-wintry weather.


Anyway, school's been a blast. Its strange but somehow i really love going for classes this sem. Is it because reality has finally hit home, reminding me that this is the last phase of my student life? I reckon so. Im really grateful to God for blessing me so wondrously these past 3 years - all the amazing friends and acquaintances that i've made every sem and the mind-blowing units i've been able to do. Even though i initially thought i'd have a slightly lonelier time this sem cos everyone else has graduated; its been a blessing in disguise cos i've still been able to meet some terrific people. My ftv groupmates are plain wicked. Everyone's like so crazy and wild it's so hard to be serious at group meetings. My indo classmates are great as well, Rikki and Leigh in particular. Its so funny to always hear Rikki complaining about parking while Leigh never fails to crack me up too when her blurness makes her so cute. I bet we're gonna have a hilarious time doing our roleplay for Wk 9. With friends like that spicing up uni life, tell me, how can i bear to graduate?!

I know these emotions are arriving a few months too early. But im not complaining. I know they'll help me embrace and fully cherish what i have right now cos well, there's no chance of a take 2 again!

Carpe Diem!

Omg. I have a production meeting tomorrow and i didnt even know about it until i just checked my mail. Almost completely forgot there was such a weekly meeting. Sigh. 10am on a Mon morn. I used to have Thurs blues. Now, it looks like the traditional Mon blues still reigns. Its times like these that i so wish i werent a student. Life. How ironic.

VERY RANDOM RUBBISH


Its SO friggin p-a-n-a-s

and

im SO friggin b-o-r-e-d.

The thought of my sis enjoying herself in Taiwan (AGAIN) while im (literally) sweating it out here makes me feel so indignant. It's like what, her 3rd or 4th time there (see, so many times that i've even lost count) while poor pathetic miserable me has yet to even travel once beyond SG and Perth in these what, 5 years? Sure i've been flying all the time, on SQ no less; but hey, if you really think shuttling between your kampong and the neighbouring ghost town is fun - think again. Seriously. Knowing the standard on-flight procedures like the back of your hand isn't something you wanna be proud of. Especially when the thought of it is associated with the haunting images of air-stewardesses who resemble wayang actors. Im actually quite keen to take a budget airline for once (hopefully soon, to my favorite asian kota of cos) and:

1) not have someone offer me a 'hot tower' while im trying to settle in my seat;

2) not to hear the constant jarring reminder to 'fasten your sit-belt' and;

3) not to bother wondering whether these attendants are really orang Singapura or actually, dari Malaysia/Indonesia when they ask if i want 'oren joos'.

I hate to think that for all that i've been paying for, i've never had a one good taste of a peaceful and pleasant flight; as well as a travel experience that i can claim to be truly enjoyable and memorable. When can this wish ever materialise? Or can it only at most be fulfilled by psychologically tagging along with Samantha Brown with her Passport to Europe?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a separate note, its such a blessing and a curse to have like 5 consecutive days off (includ. wkends). While it was the case that i had no life whatsoever as i was slogging through the past 3 months; the situation still doesnt seem to be any different right now despite my liberation from working hell and transportation back to buku haven.

Ok, perhaps cos its only the 1st couple of weeks of sem. I'd prolly be taking these words back in a few weeks time. Till then however, i honestly dont know how im going to fill up my time. I've actually been revising my work (gasp!); although i have to admit i am procrastinating somewhat when it comes to my (sigh) internship report.

Sigh. I think i should definitely head down to the lib tomorrow and start on my ftv research. I quite miss doing research (for essays, NOT for lame tv shows like the dreadful 'Chakiats') actually. As much as i hate reading and pouring through those dusty yellow pages, i cant deny that i am overwhelmed by those binded things. Its ironic how i actually absorb so much more from digging out all these bits of info myself as compared to being forcefully spoon-fed for the past 12 years. What's stranger is that i in fact enjoy this discovery process! I bet Boon Kong would have wished for this revelation to have dawned on me 4 years earlier. O well, at least its not too late. He must finally be so proud of me now. Haha. I reckon i have the 3 hair-splitting years of MCI to thank for my enlightenment.

Ok. So i've got an agenda for tomorrow and Wed. I shall aim to come back with at least sepuluh buku. Let's just pray that i dont oversleep and that the lazybug doesnt bite me in the ass again.

Lastly, kudos to you if you actually bothered to read through my post till this last line! Cant imagine why anyone would wanna read all this crap from me but o well...good on ya!